East and West came out of Week 2 looking identical: two teams at 2-0, two at 1-1, two at 0-2, straight down the middle. Two weeks in, the table says nothing.
The Mighty Boom say plenty.
Highest score of the week, by 0.85 points over the Bensons. Barely counts. Goes in the book the same as a forty-point win.
The number that matters is 318.3 — the Boom's two-week total, and the best start in franchise history. Out of twenty recorded openings nothing else is close, and 2021's 307.7 is second. No single thing carried it, either. CeeDee Lamb caught eight of nine for 153 yards and two touchdowns, worth 37.8 points. Goff threw for 327 yards and four touchdowns in a game Detroit lost 41-31, worth 33.1 points. Then it's Kenneth Walker at 28.3 points, Parker Washington at 19.5, Jordan Love at 15.3. Guys. It's guys. The only starter who properly stunk was Jonathon Brooks, whose five carries for 16 yards came to 2.1 points, which isn't stinking so much as being briefly present.
Peter's team is 2-0 for the ninth time. Seven of the previous eight made the playoffs, and two of those — 2015, 2018 — ended with the Court-Ordered Limousine. The rest of the East should find that deeply annoying.
Lawrence Football Jesus got Ja'Marr Chase back and it bought them nothing. Chase caught seven of nine for 75 yards and two touchdowns, worth 27 points — Chase playing like Chase after a quiet opener, and the only thing on the roster that worked. DJ Moore took one carry for -1 yard and finished on -0.1 points. Rodgers threw for 187 yards with an interception in a 20-3 loss at New England, worth 5.9 points. And 70.3 points sat on the bench.
James has now dropped eight of the last ten in a series that stands at 22-10-1. The tie is the first meeting the two franchises ever played, Week 1 of 2007, 69-69, which requires no further comment.
Biggest margin of the week, and the only team score under 100 — those have gotten scarce, roughly one in eighteen since 2020.
Before anyone buries Team Hauloll: fifty-seven teams in JADDL history have started 0-2. Seven made the playoffs. Exactly one won the whole damn thing.
That was Jason. 2019. This team.
He managed it again in 2020 — 0-2, finished 8-5, made the field. Two of those seven belong to him. Hauloll sits 0-2 with the worst score of the week, and the precedent says that means less than it appears to.
Nolan's side is 2-0 on the back of 47 points from Jaxon Smith-Njigba: nine catches, 155 yards, three touchdowns, the best day anybody had this week. Mahomes added 32.8 points. Strike those 47 points from the board entirely and In Pursuit still wins by twelve points.
The final margin says fifteen points, the week's narrowest. The shape says something else. When Sunday night ended the Fightin' Longshanks had 139.7 on the board and the Bad News Bensons had 112.7, and exactly one player was left to play: Davante Adams, Monday night, a week after managing nothing at all. He caught eight of ten for 195 yards and two touchdowns. Forty-two points. Alex needed 27 of them; the other fifteen are the final margin.
That it was close enough to need him at all is the Detroit defense's doing: Alex started them against Buffalo on Thursday night and they came back with -3.5 points. The Longshanks had their own version: Dalton Schultz scored 35 points on the bench while Mark Andrews, started ahead of him at tight end, caught six for 49 yards and managed 15.9 points. Andrews was the correct start on Sunday morning and will be the correct start again. Doesn't help Ryan any.
Dan got four starters over 30 points — Dak 32.6, Kelce 32.6, DeVonta Smith 30.7, Stafford 30.3 — and still only landed on 147.8, because Saquon Barkley mustered 3.5 points and the Kansas City defense turned in a clean zero. The series was knotted 8-8. It isn't anymore.
Nathan carried a lead into Monday night, for whatever it proved to be worth: 113.1 to 111.5, with Stafford and Malachi Fields still to come for the Hornets and Jaxson Dart the last man standing for the Dinos. Dart went 3-for-5 passing and got pulled for Jameis Winston. One point. That's a coaching decision, not a lineup decision, and nobody consulted him about it.
Josh Allen: three touchdowns through the air, two on the ground, 45.3 points. The other eight starters on Ian's roster combined for 81.55 points. Adam wins, the Falcons are 0-2, and one quarterback cannot keep covering for the other eight slots.
Good on Jacob.
Lannie is 0-2, and Dallas Goedert turned in 1.9 points on one catch for four yards. That's the whole report.