Well, well, well. Look who decided to remember how to play fantasy football.
The Mighty Boom bounced back from their Week 1 ass-kicking in spectacular fashion, steamrolling Lawrence Football Jesus 176.80–145.75 in what can only be described as a "return to normalcy" for Pete's dynasty machine.
You don't stay mighty for this long by accident.
Jesus, meanwhile, is now 0-2 and looking about as lost as his namesake in the desert for 40 days. Except instead of finding salvation, Jimbo's finding new and creative ways to lose football games.
"I told everyone Week 1 was just a fluke," said Pete after the victory, probably while polishing one of his four championship trophies. "You don't stay mighty for this long by accident."
And remind people he did. This wasn't just a win—this was a 31-point beatdown that screamed "reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated" to anyone who thought last week's loss to IPP meant the dynasty was crumbling.
Jalen Hurts had a quiet 12.55 points, but here's the thing about championship teams—they don't need their stars to go nuclear when their supporting cast goes fucking ballistic. Ja'Marr Chase decided Week 2 was the perfect time to remind everyone he's a certified game-breaker, exploding for 36.50 points. Add in Rome Odunze's 31.80-point coming-out party, and suddenly Pete's got two receivers combining for 68.3 points while everyone else is still trying to figure out their lineup.
Meanwhile, over in Jesus territory, Jimbo was putting out fires with gasoline. Geno Smith managed 5.00 points, which in 2025 fantasy football is like bringing a butter knife to a gunfight. Saquon Barkley tried to carry the load with 17.40, and Josh Gibbs added 19.40, but when your opponent's receivers are combining for nearly 70 points, "respectable" gets you an 0-2 record.
jesus is sad
The most Jesus thing about this loss? Even his backup quarterback situation is a mess. Cam Ward sitting on the bench with 11.55 points—which isn't exactly lighting the world on fire for a QB, but it's still more than what Geno managed to scrape together as the starter.
After suffering through a 5-9 disaster in 2024—their worst season since that 4-9 campaign in 2020—Pete needed to prove that lightning can still strike. When your receivers are putting up video game numbers, that's exactly the kind of proof championships are built on.
"The thing about Jesus," Pete said with a championship winner's smile, "is that resurrection stories are great for the Bible, but this is fantasy football. Sometimes dead stays dead."
The mighty are back, folks. Like they ever really left.