Holy shit, folks. Mark your calendars, because we just witnessed history.
In Pursuit of Perfection didn't just beat The Mighty Boom this weekend—they straight up demolished them, 177.40–130.10. And before you ask, no, that's not a typo. Yes, Pete actually scored 130 points and lost. Yes, Nolan actually hung 177 on the most consistently dominant franchise in JADDL history.
The pursuit of perfection just took a giant leap forward, and somewhere in whatever trophy-filled lair Pete calls home, the sound of sobbing can probably be heard echoing off his championship hardware.
"I've been chasing this feeling for years," said Nolan after what can only be described as a complete and utter beatdown. "You know what perfection feels like? It feels like watching Pete's face when he realizes 130 points isn't going to cut it."
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Let's start with the obvious: Josh Allen decided Week 1 was the perfect time to remind everyone why he's Josh Fucking Allen, dropping a casual 42.70 points like he was playing against traffic cones. But here's the thing—Allen wasn't even the story. The story was how deep this IPP beatdown went.
Josh Jacobs chipped in 14.00, Justin Jefferson added 14.80, and even Marvin Harrison Jr.—who most people probably forgot was on fantasy rosters—contributed 18.10 points. This wasn't one guy going off; this was a coordinated assault on Pete's ego.
But wait, there's more! Nolan's bench decided to join the party too. JK Warren sitting pretty with 13.90, Justin Herbert casually dropping 31.10 (probably thinking "I could've made this a war crime"), and Keenan Coleman adding 25.20 for good measure. Even Nolan's fucking injured reserve scored points with Trey Spears managing 0.00, which is still somehow more than Pete deserved this week.
Meanwhile, over in Boom territory, Pete was doing his best impression of a dynasty in decline. Sure, Jalen Hurts put up a respectable 25.80, and Darrell Henderson managed 15.40, but when you're facing the buzzsaw that was IPP this weekend, "respectable" gets you a participation trophy and a long drive home.
"The key to my success has always been consistency," Pete said after the game, probably while staring at his trophy case wondering if this is how empires fall. "Apparently this week, I was consistently outplayed by about 47 points."
Forty-seven points, Pete. In fantasy football, that's not a loss—that's a public flogging.
The most Pete thing about this whole disaster? His bench actually showed up. Russell Wilson with 12.80, Rome Odunze adding 15.70—hell, even his defense managed respectable numbers. It just didn't matter, because when Nolan decides to drop 177 on your ass, your bench production becomes about as relevant as a 2007 iPhone.
Look, we've seen Boom dominate this league for years. We've watched Pete collect championships like they're Pokemon cards. But every dynasty has its moments of vulnerability, and getting boat-raced by IPP in Week 1 might just be Pete's "remember when you were mortal?" moment.
As for Nolan? This is what pursuing perfection looks like when everything clicks. Allen goes nuclear, your depth shows up, and even your questionable draft picks (looking at you, Nick Chubb with 6.00 points) don't matter because you're too busy dropping 177 fucking points on the most successful franchise in league history.
The pursuit continues, but after this beatdown, it feels a lot more like the pursuit is catching up to its target.