This is the JADDL, so naturally, when a 6-2 team faces off against a 1-7 team, you expect the 1-7 team to win. And that's just what happened as Saquonda (checks notes...) For1season took on Team Hauloll in Week 9. Saquonda rode the back of their RB1, who (checks notes...) is not actually Saquon Barkley, but rather James Conner. Perhaps Nate should've gone with a Terminator theme instead? No, wait, that guy wasn't James Conner; it was (checks notes...) John Connor. Damn.
Anyway, James Conner tore Hauloll up with 42.3 points, and Saquonda Forwhatever dispatched Team Hauloll 146.9-128.4 for their second win of the season. And that's pretty huge, because with the extra game this season, the newly possible 1-13 mark Saquonda was barreling toward would've been the worst season in league history, dipping below the 1-12 campaigns of Christmases past by the Longshanks (2012) and Monkeys (2016). Of note, Football Jesus also had a one-win season in 2007, but that was a 1-9-3 record—three ties! Do you remember that shit?
Bensons 121.1 | Boom 120.1
This keeps the Bensons just two games back in the Winterfell Division as well, so yeah, I'm imagining a whole lot of fist pumps happened in Alex's living room Sunday night.
Hornets 151.5 | Monkeys 122.2
And yes, this game—in Week 9, remember—was the first between these divisional foes, with the Hornets getting the better of the duel thanks to studs Jonathan Taylor (RB 2) and Lamar Jackson (QB 3) doing their thing. To combat that, the Monkeys needed a special Joe Burrow performance, and instead, he gave them 7.3 points.
Lanniesters 133.2 | IPP 110.7
But he also isn't as good at football, yet, so IPP subsequently isn't as good at fantasy football right now either.
Fun fact: the Lanniesters' Carson Wentz outscored Mahomes and Love combined.
Falcons 141.3 | Odouls 98.6
Longshanks 138.8 | Jesus 72.3
And the Shanks? They just keep winning. That's four straight, putting them atop the Old Big 8 for the first time since Week 4.